08/01/19                                                                               Volume 3 Issue 47

                                                                Best You Guru™

                                                                Energy vampires

Just because you are mentally tough does not mean you are indestructible. Just because you are mentally strong does not mean you can tolerate anything and anyone. Just because your mental capacity has incredible sturdiness does not mean you can withstand any onslaught. The mental kryptonite that often goes unnoticed and robs people of the emotional energy necessary to achieve is not the nagging relative, the person yelling profanities at you, or even the nightly news. There is kryptonite robbing us the most of our potential and a living a life of our dreams. These people are energy vampires and they often go unseen.      

Energy vampires will drain you of your mental strength regardless of your willpower or determination. Energy vampires will rob you of your potential. Energy vampires are individuals sucking the energy from your dreams. No matter how much advice, support, or time you give, they always try to get more. They may be the nicest, smartest, and most generous people in the world. They may be your best friend, closest relative, or the person you admire the most in life. Energy vampires will surround you and drain you of your energy. You must be aware. Avoiding and/or limiting your time with energy vampires is recommended as a measure to limit the damage they cause. Each of us must take proactive steps to avoid energy vampires. We must limit the energy people steal from us. You can’t avoid all energy vampires but you can be aware.  

Unfortunately, the best way to recognize an energy vampire is after your interaction with them. After the interaction, you will feel drained. If the interaction is a long encounter you will feel completely drained. Spending the evening with an energy vampire will leave you wondering why you are so tired the next day. Too often we fail to recognize energy vampires. Here are some examples of good people robbing you of your energy: 

          Energy vampires make a habit of calling to complain of the problems. They complain the people at work don’t pull the weight, their car has mechanical problems, they don’t have the money to pay the bills, the dog ate the cat and the cat ate the children’s homework. The majority of interaction with this friend is about the problems in their life. 

          They see problems and not opportunities. When you suggest a solution, they become angry and maintain nothing helps. Their focus is on the impacts of their problems and they avoid focusing on solutions.  They continually seek to share their burdens with you. Everyone has problems but take heed of those who seem to have a usually high number of problems and do not seek solutions. Sometimes a friend needs only the kindness of an empathic ear. That is the solution. 

          The energy vampire is that person that always has a problem and rarely seek a solution. They seek not a kind ear but someone to jump into their whirlpool of difficulties.              

          Energy vampires are people seeking constant praise, they are the focus of the majority of conversations they engage, they are skilled at the art of one-upmanship, they rarely ask questions and always make statement, they tell long-winded stories about their endeavors, the majority of stories they tell about themselves highlight they are the hero, they rarely take responsibility for the “bad luck”, they enjoy gossip, no matter where or what – they have been there and done that, and there are more examples. 

Energy vampires have many different methods of robbing you of your energy. The only way to know for sure if someone is an energy vampire is how you feel after your encounter with them. Are you tired? Are you frustrated? Are you looking forward to your next encounter?  Be aware and establish healthy boundaries that limit the negative influence energy vampires have on your life.

Action steps: Measure your energy level after spending time with someone.

                     Spend more time with those that invigorate you.

                     Safeguard yourself when sending time with energy vampires. 

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