Best You Guru™
A Moment Can Make a Life
Skill and luck
Life is a game of skill and luck. Health, wealth, and relationships depend more than just our abilities to make good decisions. Making the best decisions possibly helps the fruitfulness of life but it does not assure success or happiness. Luck or the roll of the dice play an important part. We could make healthy decisions but get unlucky with cancer. We cannot ignore the uncertainty of life circumstances. Some people never concern themselves with a healthy lifestyle and they live to a ripe old age. Many among us win the lottery. Some seem to get all the breaks. And then some live a healthy lifestyle and die early, or work hard their entire life only to find themselves financially bankrupt, and some never seem to get a break. Our privilege does not deny our hard work nor does our poverty. We sometimes give ourselves too much credit and fail to recognize that not everyone will produce the same results with their efforts. Too often our hubris allows us to believe we made better decisions than those with unfortunate circumstances in life. A very wealthy man, who has since passed, confessed to me that he made more money on accident than he ever did on purpose. I witnessed his good financial fortune and often wondered why.
We can shape our luck. By thinking of all the possible outcomes of our decisions. Determine the good ones and the bad ones and what can we do to increase the chances of the good ones occurring. We plan on how can we reduce the chances of bad outcomes. We can assist in shaping our good fortune. We can change the path of life-based on our decisions. The fundamental nature of matter is probabilistic. We live in a very chaotic world which is hard to predict the future. Luck or randomness plays a role in future occurrences. Luck and randomness are inescapable as occurrences regardless of the decisions of people. They play a larger part than people care to admit. Luck doesn’t care about what happened to you in the past and it doesn’t care what happens to you in the future. We must accept that we will not always make the right decision and even when we do it may not produce the results we anticipated. We have to learn to accept this fact of life and learn to control what we can control. We control our efforts and not the outcomes.
There may be things a person can do to increase luck. Luck may take place when people pay attention to the opportunities to display their talents. You cannot seize the opportunities you do not see. Learning and stretching yourself each day may increase a person’s luck. Numerous life occurrences are completely out of our control or ability to shape. They are given to us and what we do with them is our choice. Sometimes what we call luck are fortunate circumstances. Some were fortunate to be born in this country, born into privilege, born in the right zip code, born with loving parents, and the list goes on. Some may be born into a world of privilege but the luck you create is found in how you view the world. The world may not give you the view of your success but your authentic identity does. Your authentic identity contains your successful view of the world. We are born with unique greatness and powerful potential. We truly have the potential to live and happy and fruitful life. We know this as a young child. We understood our gifts as a child. What they knew as a child escapes many people as they enter adulthood. Their belief in themselves is replaced with a world view of themselves. Your belief system is a factor in many of the outcomes of your efforts. Your belief of what happens when you fail determines the risk you take to become lucky. Failure is taught as something to be avoided but failure is part of the success formula. What are you afraid of when failing? Our mindset often locks us in so often to making decisions that do not allow us to see all possibilities and opportunities. Failure is a possibility and an outcome not always to be avoided. What we tell ourselves and what society tells us will assist in shaping our worldview. The stories we tell ourselves about where we have been and where we are going often become the life we lead. Your life and what happens to you is often the story you tell yourself.
the change moment
Life can be changed in a moment. Luck, good fortune, serendipity, and whatever term you choose to use are often found in a passing moment. Being at the right place at the right time may be a sign of luck and it is upon the person to make it a positive life change. Being born in the right zip code may be a good fortune but it is up to that person to create a life of good fortune. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. was the 199th selection in the 2000 National Football League Draft. Some people would say that he was lucky to be drafted. Some would say that he was unlucky to be drafted so low. Tom had the good fortune to be surrounded by friends and family that believed in his abilities. He had a supportive structure that assisted in his luck. The majority of football experts predicted that this man had little or no chance of becoming a starting quarterback in the NFL. Since the 2000 NFL Draft, Tom Brady has appeared in the Super Bowl ten times with seven victories. Tom Brady holds the combined passing yards record, the record for regular-season touchdown passes, the most Pro Bowl selections, and many more records. Tom Brady has never had a losing season as a team’s starting quarterback. At age 43 he was the oldest player to be named Super Bowl MVP and win a Super Bowl. Tom Brady turned that one moment in 2000 into a lucky moment that changed the lives of many people and the course of history. What Tom Brady did with that moment should serve as an example for all of us. A moment becomes what we do with it. Use it wisely.
1) Write a list of your good fortune, your good luck, or whatever term you choose. Include any supportive structure or people. We often fail to recognize our good fortune. We should recognize living in a country with a Constitution recognizing the will of the people, as well as educational opportunities, business opportunities, and numerous opportunities for luck. Recognize where your luck resides.
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Friends helping Friends
Kristi founded the Parenting Inner Circle in 2003. Kristi has supported over 15,000 families in creating healing for children who have experienced pre-birth and early life trauma. The Parenting Inner Circle is the first online educational support for adoptive, foster parents, and professionals.
Kristi holds a master's degree in Community Counseling from the University of Central Oklahoma and is a co-founder of the Post Institute. The Post Institute offers educational materials and support services to help parents lead their families on a journey of healing the wounds of complex trauma. The Post Institute is one of the first to develop trauma-informed education and specific strategies for parents. It is a cornerstone belief that the greatest challenges occur in day-to-day life outside of the therapy session. It is no coincidence that the greatest healing occurs in day-to-day life as well.
Kristi provides results-driven therapeutic and educational services for families whose children have experienced: Abuse/ Neglect/ Divorce/Death/Medical Trauma/Natural Disaster.
Kristi has published numerous articles on topics related to parenting and educating challenged children. Kristi has worked with some of the most challenging situations for over 25 years. Love with scientific understanding.